First look: should you see each other before the ceremony?
A first meeting before the ceremony, or an untouched moment in front of everyone? I walk through both paths, honestly and without taking sides.
Lazar Mihajlović
Published: 28 July 2026
At one of the weddings I photographed, the groom stood with his back turned, in the shade, more nervous than he was before the ceremony itself. When he turned around, he said nothing for the first ten seconds. Those ten seconds are the reason couples decide on a first look, an arranged first meeting before the ceremony.
And yet more than half of the couples I photograph choose the opposite: to see each other for the first time only at the ceremony. Their albums lose nothing. This text does not take sides, it simply goes honestly through what each choice means for your day.
What a first look is, and what it is not
A first look is the moment before the ceremony when the two of you see each other ready for the first time, usually alone, with me at a respectful distance. It is not a directed photo session. I do not put you in poses, I do not ask for repeats and I do not call out instructions. My job is to find a place with good light and quiet, a yard, a row of trees or a river bank without passers-by, and then to disappear from your field of view.
It lasts as long as it needs to. Sometimes ten minutes, sometimes half an hour with portraits straight afterwards, while the emotion is still warm. The only thing that matters is that it does not turn into a performance, because the camera recognises an acted moment immediately.
What you gain if you see each other before the ceremony
The biggest gain is not a photograph, it is time. When the first meeting and the portraits are done before the ceremony, the timeline of the day suddenly breathes: after the congratulations you are not running away from your guests for an hour, you stay at your own celebration. The emotion happens in private, so many couples let it out more easily than in front of two hundred pairs of eyes.
- Portraits are taken while you are fresh, before the tears and the crowd
- More time with your guests after the ceremony
- The nerves drop a whole level once you see each other
- The golden hour stays free for a short walk for two
There is also a bonus that is rarely mentioned: light. We schedule the first look at a time of day we choose ourselves, so the most important portraits do not depend on when the ceremony ends. Elma and Almir had their first meeting in the shade of an old tree, an hour before the ceremony, and it was exactly those frames that carried their album.
What tradition says, and why I respect it
Here tradition often wins, and that is perfectly fine. The first look at the ceremony, while one of you walks towards the other, carries a weight that no arranged moment can faithfully repeat. The whole hall is looking at you then, and I stand where I can catch both faces. If you shudder at the thought of spending that emotion earlier, do not let anyone talk you into it.
Technically little changes for me. In a hall or in a church I know where I will stand, I work out the light in advance, and that first look reaches the album just as strong.
The middle path couples forget
There is a solution for the undecided as well. A meeting around a corner or on either side of a door: you hold hands and hear each other's voice, exchange a letter or a gift, and see each other only at the ceremony. It sounds like a compromise made out of necessity, and in the photographs it regularly turns out to be one of the most emotional moments of the day. Tears without a look have a weight of their own. This scenario needs only a little discipline from the wedding party and one quiet corner, the rest is my concern.
How to decide
Ask yourselves two questions. First: does a calmer afternoon mean more to us, or an untouched moment at the ceremony? Second: how do we handle attention, is it easier for us to cry in private or does an audience not bother us? The answers usually decide by themselves. And if you disagree, the middle ground from the previous chapter exists precisely for you.
And do not decide under the pressure of other people's experiences. What looked perfect for one couple can feel forced for you, and the other way around.
There is no wrong choice. There is only your choice, and my job is to keep it exactly as it was.
Lazar Mihajlović Photography
Still undecided about the first look?
Write to me and tell me how you imagine your day. We will go through the timeline together and you will see what feels more natural to you, with no persuading from my side.
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